There is something to learn here ...

So, despite many of  my blessings and the genuine, warm welcoming support of some really nice and talented people ... I am still not enjoying Milongas ...

It is kinda off pushing me against the wall  making me question on sensitive personal ground ...

The first thoughts are ,well just stop going ... why would you spend time in places you dont relate to
 ( especially with good weather on the doorstep and a new exciting range of extravagant, wild friends...)

The point is, striking,  that there is somehow the screaming believe that it was no coincidence I have decided one year ago to pursue Tango instead of developing my flamenco ... that there is in fact something here to LEARN...

The promise that there is something to learn here ...

The wall flower phase ...

After a 3 month gap, due to my foot injury ... I could not wait to get back to dancing again.
But the coming back was a bit least warm than I have wished for...
Recently, I have read a tango blog where  the author refers to the term "wallflower"  related to (female) dancers in Milongas. She claims that at some early stage all followers had to be submitted to this kind off gentle torture, while one weaves up into the complex (somehow disturbing- I find) Milonga social/hierarchy net.

I am in no doubt going trough a wallflower phase... I dont enjoy it, I dont understand it, but I will endure it ( even if it takes me scarifying my out friday nights with friends to sit in boredom, motionless, watching other people dance)... if there is one thing I know about myself, is that I am stubborn, really stubborn...

I have been explained several times, that this is the way it is .... to be patient, that it takes time ... on one side Tango is this wonderful, intoxicating movement perfume  you want to embrace, pursue, follow right away and on the other hand it is this old, rigid, irascible old man wrinkled face, a tight knot of rules, who has been dictating behavior (and perhaps who knows life's...) since god knows when...

I wonder if wallflowers and cliques are really essential ... maybe they are, maybe they are not... I will discover tough, eventually... meanwhile,  cant we not just dance?

I want to finish this post by thanking once again, my supportive teachers, who kindly and patiently, keep on wisely advising me and inspiring me...



.

M-I-L-O-N-G-A-S

Milongas...
Here we go, and face the beast.

I was just asking myself why do I do it?

Yes, why do I travel in the night to some remote place 1.30m away from my flat, sit in boredom for 2 hours or so, waiting for some weird man to come and ask me to dance?

And further more, why am I so decided to keep on doing it?

It is the game of the follower, of waiting ... and I am determined to play it right, at least once in my life.

I keep on doing it because I love dancing... thats why.